Hold Me Tight Read online

  Ryan issues two sharp grunts, as if trying to say, “Okay.”

  “You gonna tell us?” I ask him, pressing the toe of my boot into his back.

  He nods somewhat reluctantly, and I hope to God he can be trusted.

  “Because if you don’t, I’ll beat it out of you myself. You hear me?” I step down hard on his foot until he groans. He nods again quickly, shooting me an irritated look. It’s killing him to have to go along with my demands, but he’s not doing this for me. There’s obviously something there between him and Ben. Whether or not they both feel the same way about each other is another question entirely. Ben doesn’t seem too thrilled about letting Ryan think he can worm his way back into his life. But knowing the Price family, I can see why. Once they latch on, they never let go.

  I lower Ryan’s gag, and he takes a few deep breaths, resting his head against the wall. Ben doesn’t get any closer. In fact, he doesn’t even look over at us. Seeing Ben withdraw into himself makes me want to punch Ryan in the face like I did the night of the gala, but I can’t. We’re going to have to let him go without a scratch and not leave any evidence behind.

  “Where is she, douchebag?” I hover over him menacingly.

  “Aren’t you gonna love to find out,” Ryan heckles me, his voice raspy.

  “Get on with it. We don’t have all day.” I jam my foot into his side until he cries out.

  “All right, already!” he exclaims, trying to glance around me to get a good look at Ben.

  “Where’s your crazy-ass sister hiding Ivy?” I growl, losing my patience and pulling him back by his hair.

  “I get what he promised me first. Then I’ll tell you where she is,” Ryan pants before licking his lips suggestively in Ben’s direction.

  “That wasn’t the deal!” Ben shouts from across the room, his voice bouncing off the tiled walls.

  “I’ll whisper it in your ear, Benny Boy. I know how much you like that.” Ryan smirks, straining against the plastic garbage bag ties the members of the Glendale High football team have restrained him with.

  “You don’t have to do this, Ben. We’ll find her some other way.” My guilty conscience gets the better of me. I feel terrible for having to subject him to Ryan. It wasn’t supposed to play out this way. I promised Ben beforehand that I wouldn’t leave him alone with Ryan.

  “It’s all right, Eric. I should’ve seen it coming. I know what he’s like.” Ben walks over to join me, looking down at Ryan sprawled on the floor.

  “Forget it. Let’s just get out of here. C’mon, Ben,” I insist, pulling him by the sleeve.

  “Yeah. C’mon, Ben,” Ryan mocks me, his eyes never leaving Ben’s face.

  “I’ll get what you need out of him,” Ben says, his voice sounding dead to my ears. It’s like he’s already turned off his mind in order to do what he has to do.

  “You heard him. Get the hell out,” Ryan orders me haughtily.

  I back away, one foot behind the other, hating myself for what Ryan’s making me do. Ben grabs him under the arm, hoisting him to his feet. Ryan doesn’t waste any time pressing him against the wall. I can’t believe what I’m seeing as Ryan runs his tongue down Ben’s cheek before biting him hard on the lip, drawing blood.

  Horrified, I keep walking even though I can still hear them.

  Ryan chuckles as Ben pushes him away, trying to put some distance between them. But it’s too late. Ryan’s enjoying ripping open the scars he’s inflicted on Ben’s battered psyche.

  “Why do you always have to be such a monster?” Ben growls, spitting onto the tile.

  “Because that’s how you like it. Don’t lie to me. I know you do,” Ryan cajoles. “Now untie me, lower your pants, and face the wall. I want a taste of what I’ve been missing.”

  I increase my pace, not wanting to listen to what’s about to unfold. Is it right to trade Ben’s self-esteem for Ivy’s life? Is it worth sacrificing Ben, allowing Ryan to victimize him like that? I just don’t know anymore.

  I make it back out to the empty gym and slide down against the bleachers. I hold my head in my hands, trying to reconcile what’s going on in there, but I can’t. It’s obvious this isn’t the first time that Ryan’s taken advantage of Ben. I definitely wouldn’t classify what they have as a healthy relationship. Ryan is just taking his conflicted feelings about his sexuality out on Ben, making him the perfect whipping boy, a pliable target to direct his anger. He hates himself for being attracted to Ben. So instead of loving Ben, he takes all of his self-loathing out on him, punishing Ben for the sexual urges he brings out in him.

  I shouldn’t have gotten Ben involved in this. I don’t know what kind of mixed-up feelings he still has for Ryan, but I can’t stomach what’s going on in there. Ben convinced me to go along with abducting Ryan and forcing the truth out of him, but I never imagined things taking this kind of turn. Sadly, Ben didn’t seem all that surprised.

  I didn’t realize the kind of hold Ryan still has over Ben, how he’s able to manipulate him. It doesn’t bode well if Ryan seeks revenge for this hazing stunt somewhere down the road. Yeah, Ryan has Ben all to himself now, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to keep him satisfied for long.

  The doors swing open, and Ben strides out, disheveled, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. The arm of the t-shirt underneath his jersey is already soaked through with blood. He’s shaking as he tries to steady himself and hold it together in front of me.

  I don’t know what to think. This big macho guy, the stud of the football team, undone by a wiseass runt like Ryan Price. It offends the rules of nature.

  “You all right, man?” I ask, getting to my feet.

  But Ben backs away like he doesn’t want me to touch him. He just shakes his head.

  “Listen, if he didn’t tell you where Ivy is, we’ll find some other way.” I grimace, shoving my hands in my pockets, not knowing what else to say.

  “He told me,” Ben whispers gruffly, that eerie faraway quality still evident in his tone.

  “He did? Where is she?” I ask, advancing toward him, trying not to get too worked up over the news considering what he just went through to get it.

  “You’re gonna hate me, Eric,” Ben states blankly, looking down at his shoelaces.

  “C’mon, man. What are you talking about? Where have they got Ivy?” I urge as I move to stand directly in front of him.

  His busted lip quivers, and blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth. “She’s with Tim,” he says, running the back of his hand across his face. “She’s with my brother.”

  I blink uncomprehendingly for a minute before I lose it.

  I grab a fistful of his jersey as I rear back to hit him. Ben winces and closes his eyes. My fist is in midair, but somehow I manage to curb my aggression as I roughly shove him away from me. What the hell am I doing? The dude’s already been through enough. I lower my fist and turn away, furious with myself over my reaction. I have to get out of here.

  “Wait!” Ben calls after me, sprinting to catch up. “We’ll take my truck. They’re at my uncle’s old homestead outside of town. Tim will never suspect that you’re with me. I’ll hide you in the back.”

  I stop and look up at the various championship banners hanging from the rafters, the one from Tim’s record-setting year with the swim team staring me in the face.

  “I swear, I didn’t know she was with him, Eric,” Ben insists, trying to talk over his swollen lip. “I swear.”

  My shoulders rise and fall, but I don’t say anything.

  “C’mon, man. We can have Ivy home by dinnertime if we hurry.” Ben starts walking ahead of me, but I don’t follow and he stops. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not going anywhere near that farmhouse. If that’s where Ivy is, she can stay there as far as I’m concerned.” I storm out the door. I don’t want Ben following me or giving me any more lame excuses. I’m not going to change my mind. I’m dead serious.

  If Ivy knowingly went with Tim, then it really
is over between us.

  Chapter Seven

  Ivy

  I don’t know what to think.

  Tim claims he told Lauren about today’s appointment with Dr. Patel, but Eric never showed up. It’s been a week since our fight, and I can’t believe he wouldn’t jump at the chance to see me. For the first time since he left me sitting in his truck outside the Valu-Mart, he knew where I was going to be and when. I thought for sure he’d be there, waiting to envelop me a hug and whisper in my ear that he was sorry.

  But there was no sign of him.

  I slump against the back of the swivel chair, letting my fingers drift absently over the laptop keys. Dr. P. was a little perturbed at not seeing Eric with me. He didn’t pry. He just shook his head and said that whatever’s going on between us was none of his business, even though he wasn’t happy that Eric had bailed on the appointment. After examining me, Dr. P. smiled. So far, everything’s fine. The tear in the placenta has not detached any further. Of course it was great news, but it hurt that Eric wasn’t there to hear it. It’s like he doesn’t even care. What if things took a turn for the worse? I mean, he hasn’t talked to me in over a week. Anything could have happened between now and then. Is he really that mad at me for walking out on him?

  My brain feels muddled. I should be working on the damn screenplay, but I couldn’t care less. I don’t even know what I’m doing since I’ve never written one by myself before, not without Will’s help. Fiction isn’t my thing. I like facts. Patterns I can piece together and investigate. And not having all of the details about what went on between Tim and Cassidy isn’t making my job any easier. My eyes gaze restlessly out the window over the acres of land that make up Tim’s property. The barren trees look even more desolate under an overcast sky. The gloomy weather matches my mood. I’m sure not going to get anything accomplished in this state of mind.

  “Dr. P. seems like a pretty cool guy.”

  Yikes. I forgot that Tim was in here reading the Gazette. He’s been so quiet, letting me mull things over in silence. It was dumb to use the living room as a workspace. I should’ve stayed upstairs, kept to myself. But after suffering such a crushing blow, I didn’t want to be alone. I was too upset over Eric’s no-show.

  “Yeah, Dr. P.’s the best. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” I remark without much enthusiasm as I spin the chair around to face Tim.

  I took my time getting ready this morning because I wanted to look nice for Eric. I didn’t straighten my hair because I remembered how he’d said that he liked it natural the night he took care of me after he’d brought me home from the hospital.

  But when Tim and I got back to the farmhouse, I crashed. I took off all my makeup, braided my hair, and tossed on the generic pair of grey sweats Lauren had some random staffer at the Gazette pick out for me as part of my ‘care package.’ It sucks that I can’t even wear my own clothes anymore. It’s like everything’s been taken away from me. My freedom. My identity. Eric.

  I scrunch my eyes closed, fighting the urge to cry again.

  “Ah, Ivy. What is it?” Tim asks, lowering his newspaper and crinkling the fold.

  “I just thought he’d be there. You know?” I whimper, ashamed of the tears that begin to fall.

  Tim gets up and kneels before me, running his hand soothingly up and down my back. “That’s why I was going to stay in the car. In case he was staking out the place and didn’t want to run into me. I’m probably the reason he stayed away, not you.”

  “Don’t be silly. Eric’s a big boy. I’m sure you didn’t scare him off.” I force a smile, wanting Tim to know that I don’t blame him.

  “If he entered the waiting room, I was going to tell him where you were. I swear.” Tim sits back on his heels, holding up his hands. “The exam room is his domain, not mine. All that stuff in there freaks me out—big time.”

  “What do you mean? You’re not a fan of—” I start, but he places his hand lightly over my mouth.

  “Don’t even go there. I know a woman’s body is a beautiful thing, but I’d rather not see it like that.” Tim shakes his head vigorously, trying to rid himself of the thought.

  “So I take it I’ll never find you in a delivery room?” I tease, a giggle escaping my lips.

  “No way. When Cassidy used to talk about it, I’d…” He pauses, catching himself.

  “Go on. You’d…?” I give him a small smile, hoping he’ll continue. We’ve been on the verge of this conversation for over a week now. If only he’d meet me halfway.

  Tim clears his throat, surprising me when he doesn’t stop. “I’d tell her”—he pauses again, lowering his voice—“that I’d probably be no good to her when she needed me the most.” He hangs his head, easing onto the floor with a defeated sigh.

  “Tim,” I implore, keeping my voice soft. “What really happened between you and Cassidy?”

  “Ivy, are you sure you want to get into this?” he asks, gazing up at me, studying my face.

  “I’m sure,” I insist, feeling a sudden twinge of trepidation.

  “All right, fine. If it’ll make you feel better, I’m willing to bare my soul.” He stretches out on the floor, crossing his arms behind his head and extending his legs. After getting comfortable, he shuts his eyes and groans like he’s been colluded into telling a long and involved bedtime story to a precocious toddler up past her bedtime.

  For some reason, I want to be as close to him as I can. So I get off the chair and sit on the floor with him, dragging a pillow off the couch for my back. He’s been resisting me at every turn, but I think he took pity on me when he saw how much Eric let me down today. It seems like he’s been disappointed in love, too. I think it’s that sense of brokenness we recognize in each other. All those pesky ‘might have beens’ that never go away.

  Tim listens to the crackle and pop of the fireplace as I settle in next to him and tug the oversized sweatshirt over my knees. I watch the outlines of the flames dance across his face. He really is handsome. His chiseled features are more classically defined than Eric’s rugged good looks. Where Eric is all man, Tim is more regal, like Eric’s the strapping warrior sent off to battle and Tim’s the crowned prince issuing decrees from the throne.

  But I can see why they must’ve been friends. Eric’s a man of action. He likes to get things done. He’s passionate and intense, his whims dictated by his mood. Whereas Tim is more of a thinker. He likes to sit back and examine a problem. He’s not the type to barge in, guns blazing. He’d rather deliberate and figure out a strategy best suited to everyone involved.

  Tim must have reined Eric in a lot. The idea of taking a moment to pause and reflect isn’t one of Eric’s strong suits. I’m sure having a friend like Tim kept Eric out of plenty of scrapes when they were growing up.

  It makes me wonder if Tim knew in the back of his mind that Eric wouldn’t show up today. That he’d let his anger get in the way of his feelings for me. Is that why Tim was so determined to tag along and sit in the waiting room?

  “Okay, where do I begin?” Tim asks blandly.

  “How about right around when Cassidy figured out you were in love with her?” I take a stab in the dark, lowering my chin onto my knees as I stare intently at his profile.

  My response catches Tim off guard and his eyes snap open. But he doesn’t sit up. He contemplates my words, rolling them over in his mind.

  “You’re a very perceptive person, Ivy Thompson,” he says with grudging respect. “But to put your mind at ease, she didn’t love me back. At least, not in the way I wanted her to. Her heart always belonged to Eric.”

  I have so many questions I want to ask, but I hold my tongue. This has to be a painful topic for him to discuss. I think back on those brief hours at the gala when I thought Eric was into Lauren. I remember how much it hurt to find out that I wasn’t the one he wanted. That he was attracted to a woman I couldn’t stand. So I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for Tim to be best friends with the guy who swept Cassidy off her
feet, a guy he admired. It must have been torture.

  “All three of us hung out together as kids. We’d meet up to go fishing. We’d ride our bikes into town. We’d camp out under the stars. We were like the three amigos, practically inseparable. I considered myself lucky to have two best friends.” A smile tugs at the corners of Tim’s mouth as he thinks back on the good times they shared.

  “But?” I prompt as I bite my fingernail, not sure if I want to hear where this is going.

  “Well, we entered high school, and things changed. Turns out, it’s not that easy for a guy and a girl to remain friends,” Tim grunts, the smile vanishing from his face.

  “Yeah. Tell me about it,” I respond sarcastically as some unbidden memories of Ryan pop into my head—ones I’d rather forget.

  “Cassidy and Eric started pulling away from me, little by little. They’d do stuff without me. Then, when they did invite me to tag along, I’d feel like a third wheel. They weren’t doing it intentionally, but there was just an awkwardness that wasn’t there before.” Tim swallows hard. “I confronted Eric about it at the beginning of our sophomore year. I asked him if they were dating and he said no but he was planning on asking her out. He wanted to know if I was all right with that. And of course I lied and said that I was.”

  “Why’d you do that?” I blurt out unintentionally.

  “C’mon, Ivy. I wasn’t blind. I could see the way she looked at Eric with stars in her eyes. Trust me. She never looked at me like that.” He clenches his jaw, running a hand across his forehead. “I think Eric suspected that I had feelings for her too, but I wasn’t going to cause a war over it. She was already his. She was always his.”

  Every time I hear it, it stings a little to hear how Eric was so enraptured by Cassidy. I wonder if anyone would say he looks at me the way he used to look at her. I guess only Tim would know the answer to that.

  “Time went by. I stayed busy training for swim meets and keeping my grades up, anything to keep my mind off Cassidy. I’d see Eric around, but we weren’t as close as we used to be. Then Cassidy began showing up at the pool to watch me practice. She told me they had a blowout fight. Eric had wanted them to start dating, but she said she wasn’t ready. Her parents were pretty strict and they were probably nervous about her hanging out so much alone with Eric, no doubt afraid he was going to get her pregnant. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?” Tim chuckles bitterly.